In what area am I pessimistic?

I am usually a very optimistic person and try to look at the good side. However, I have noticed that I am extremely pessimistic when it comes to myself. I also asked my husband what I am mostly pessimistic about, and yeah, it was all about myself ha ha 

I have this thing where I am super pessimistic about my abilities, especially my talents. I am extremely overly self-critical, I don’t think my art is good enough, and I always compare myself to others. The worst part about it is that I tend to compare myself to people who all have had training when it comes to art. They either had classes, went to college, or did atelier work for art. While I am pretty much self-taught. I am good at what I do, and I need to hammer that into my skull ha ha My husband has loads of pep talks with me when I get all meh about my art. Trying to change that mindset is a work in progress.

I also have horrible self-worth, but I also think it could be part of my anxiety. I tend to ask my husband a lot whether he loves me or not. Kind of sad because I know he loves me, but sometimes my brain goes, "NOPE, you need to double check." I definitely think that might be more anxiety-related than pessimism, but I could be wrong. <-see?!

Another thing I do that feels pessimistic is that if things don’t go to plan, I feel like things are doomed. I like things going to plan. 

As I am writing this, I realize that it can almost all be attributed to my anxiety. While I take anxiety medication, it doesn’t magically make my anxiety disappear. I think it is time that I do some work on myself, maybe this can be the year that I look deeper into myself and take care of myself. March is Mental Health Awareness Month as well. Don’t forget to take care of yourselves! It is important and worthwhile to invest in it. I know I am rather transparent about it, but I hope that someone will read this and think, " I am not alone". You guys aren't alone; it's often just hard to find people who go through the same thing, as mental health still seems like a taboo sometimes.